No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Mr. Fixer Upper and I are starting to get the remodeling blues. I think every family that goes through a remodel of our enormity probably feels the same way. The money is appalling, the actual labor is truly hard and you miss spending time with normal people; the kind that have appliances and flooring. Every free moment you know that there are things you should be doing, but the amount of work is so overwhelming that you don't do any at all. Instead you eat popcorn and chocolate while lounging on the sofa for the entire weekend, watching bad reality TV (The Duggars, seriously?! Another one?!) and feeling extremely guilty. However, there are also times when you leave your work site...err...home, stay at a hotel and enjoy the luxury of things like carpeting and sheet rock. You wake up each morning and can walk around without wearing shoes, without the fear that you will step on a rogue nail or get a giant splinter injection on the soles of your feet. We did that last week. It was glorious. However, now that we are certified DIYers, we tend to notice imperfections in the hotel room that we would not have noticed before. How tight are the joints on that casing molding? Why are there small gaps where the hardwood flooring meets the doorway? Did they even SAND before painting these walls?! Yes, we inspect everything. At one point I even found myself running my hands over the walls in the bathroom, checking for paint runs and patched areas. We have lost our minds.

When we returned from vacation, Mr. Hippie (the neighbor) stopped by and we thanked him for mowing the lawn for us while we were away. He was happy to help. We forced him to take some gas money before we left for vacation and he eventually obliged. Truly a nice guy. He immediately drags Mr. Fixer outside and points out something, the smell of natural gas spilling out the pipe coming out the house. Damn. He was weed-eating, to be nice, near the pipe and noticed the smell. Mr. Fixer Upper said that a few weeks ago he thought he smelled a bit of it as well. I recall telling him I did not smell it. Damn again. So, this morning I call the energy company, and rush home from work to meet them. (thank goodness my job is flexible) The technician immediately disconnects the gas and meter, giving me the bad news that we will either need to have the meter relocated to the side of the house (it currently resides in the middle of the back yard) or have the pipe that goes from the meter to the house dug up and replaced by a plumber. Apparently the 47 year old pipe just corroded and disintegrated underground. Also, when our wonderfully nice neighbor was weed-eating he probably hit the pipe, causing the pipe to give out and crumble. What might have been a pinhole leak is an obviously missing chunk. There are several places he finds corrosion (but no leaks) as he digs around the pipe's entrance to the house. It would have gone at some point, he says. The technician calls out another rep, someone from the construction division, and he takes some measurements behind the house. The construction rep tells me that moving the meter 53 feet, from the middle of the back yard onto the side of the house, would be the best option because any future line issues would be their responsibility. You see, the utility company is only responsible up to the meter, meaning any line we run off the meter will always be our responsibility---and will eventually crumble again. However, if the meter is attached to the house, our only responsibility would me to make sure there are no leaks IN the house. Plus, it frees up the back yard a bit, since the meter in the middle of the yard is a bit of an eyesore. The cost? $710.48 to the energy company for their part. He gives me instructions for the plumber we will have to hire to install a new elbow on the house fitting. The plumber will also have to install a pressure gauge on the house to prove to the inspector that there are no gas leaks in the house. Once the we get the inspectors approval, we will have a "green sticker" placed in the fitting protruding from the house and we can go ahead and have the meter installed. This means no heat, no hot water, no dryer and no cooking gas until everything is completed.

I drive back to work and e-mail Mr. Fixer Upper letting him know that we will need to get all of this coordinated ASAP. We decide to use the plumber that we have had a good experience with in the past. Chuck with Average Plumbing Inc. (made up names) says an additional $387.50 for the leak test and pipe re-work, ASSUMING that there are no leaks in the house. If he finds leaks, it will be more. Oh well. Bye bye savings, it was nice knowing you. Damn my husband and I for trying to make home improvements and NOT get into debt. It's sad to see the accounts dwindle, but soothing to know that SOMEDAY we will be done. We will be done, right? Someday? Soon?

So, the gas leak saga continues another day --- but hopefully not another week.

I was joking with my husband this morning --- this was the most EXPENSIVE lawn mowing service ever! (at least for a 1/2 acre lot)